Tag Archives: love letter to my husband

The Story of Us

5 May

A love letter to my husband of 5 years.

As we celebrate our 5 year wedding anniversary on the 19th I find myself reflecting on the past 13 years that we have been together and on all the things I have learned since I met you in March of 1999. I know I seem like a hopeless romantic, the one who can always find the good in the bad, the one who is hopeful for the future, but I wasn’t always that way. I didn’t believe in lasting love. I didn’t believe that anyone would love me forever. When I met you I was hopeless, lost, broken. I had lost so much, at least to me I had. I felt abandoned. And then I met you. I remember getting hired at Starbucks in Hermosa Beach and walking in that first day nervous with the excitement of starting a new job. You turned around and you had me. Seriously. People always talk about love at first sight and I never believed it until that moment. I knew that we would be together, felt it deep in my soul. I remember how you drove me home that night after work because I didn’t have a car and had skateboarded to work. I remember sitting next to you in the front seat and being so dang nervous, stealing sideways glances at you. I thought, no way this guy will EVER notice me. I’m so glad you did. We became fast friends, hanging out all the time, showing up at work while the other was working because we were “meeting a friend” (wink). We were both coming out of break ups so we were trying to be just friends. I remember the night you asked me to be your girlfriend not too much longer. We were at your old house and you had family coming to visit. I remember being introduced for the first time as your girlfriend.  There were many ups and a few downs along the way. A lot of laughs and many adventures. We ran a marathon together in Dublin, Ireland, went to Washington D.C., laid on the beach in Maui, camped in Big Sur, and most importantly, we grew closer together and fell more and more in love. You have always been my best friend, my biggest champion, my soul mate. I remember the day you proposed to me. August 10,2005. I remember I was working with my best friend, and my sister had come in to read (that should have tipped me off lol). And then my friend said someone in the lobby wanted to talk to me, so I walked out and you came around the corner, guitar in hand. I thought, Proposal? or maybe birthday gift since my birthday was the next day. You sang You and Me by Lifehouse and I was trying not to cry. I was so excited I hugged you as soon as you were finished, and then you dropped to one knee. I couldn’t wait to say YES, YES, I will marry you! This is one of 4 of the happiest days of my life. We had a long engagement, almost 2 years. We weren’t in a rush and neither one of us knew how to plan a wedding or what we were doing. So we chose Vegas. But not cheesy Vegas. Caesar’s Palace, in the garden, in May. I remember waiting outside getting ready to walk around that corner to begin the rest of my life. I was anxious, nervous, excited, everything. And then Forever Love (Digame) by Anna Nalick came on and I was walking towards you. I remember seeing you and all I wanted to do was run to you. Do you remember during the ceremony when the officiant told us to take a breath and we started laughing, I didn’t realize that I had been holding my breath. When I told you that I would love you in sickness and health, for richer or poorer, until death do us part, I have never been so honest. This was the second happiest dayt of my life, May 19,2007, the day I married my best friend. We splurged on a honeymoon to Bora Bora because basically we wanted the seclusion with beautiful beaches and crystal clear water. I am so glad we had that week of heaven together. We even managed to bring home a little extra something that 9 months later would be another new beginning. It’s funny that even today, 5 years later, when I hear New York Minute by the Eagles I think of having breakfast every morning there and of the time we spent exploring that little island, and I smile because it reminds me of how we began this journey. Shortly after coming home from our honeymoon I was tired all the time and not feeling that well. That’s when we thought maybe we were pregnant. We experienced the longest 5 minutes of our life as we waited to see if 2 lines appeared. 2 lines. That is all it takes to change you forever. Mommy and Daddy, that’s what we found out our new names would be as well as getting used to being Husband and Wife. You were so good to me those 9 months, taking care of me, rubbing my feet, giving me back rubs as my belly grew and my back grew sorer from carrying our baby boy, you did all the chores, cooked, and I fell in love even more. You were making all my dreams come true. And now we come to the third best day of my life. The moment they placed our oldest son in my arms. I was overwhelmed with awe and love, I couldn’t believe that we had made this tiny little person and that I could love someone so instantly and fiercely. I remember looking into you eyes and loving you even more. I remember how I struggled with breastfeeding and how you kept encouraging me, never offering to give up, waking up with me at every feeding, delirious from the lack of sleep but supporting me none the less. Thank you for that.  And then the fourth best day of my life almost 2 years later. How rare it was to find a man who would wake up every 2 hours to help when I had to nurse. You changed all the diapers those first few weeks, and we took turns burping them in the middle of the night so that I could get some sleep too since I had to wake up and stay awake to nurse. We were both sleep deprived and if not for the help of family we would have been asleep on our feet. I am so lucky to have someone who parents right alongside me. I never felt as if I was doing it all. Have I thanked you for that? Thank you. Thank you for doing so incredibly much then and now. I could not be the mommy i am without you. And here we are 5 years later, a family of 4. It’s not that long, yet it feels as if we have always been this way. In a world where divorce occurs in 50% of marriages and Hollywood makes a mockery of marriage, we have beat some odds. When I said I do, I meant it for life. You taught me what it meant to really love someone unconditionally. You have loved me through my ups and downs and I have loved you through yours. We fit together so perfectly how could I NOT believe that I was made for you and you were made for me? Now I want to thank you, thank you for being exactly who you are because for me, you are perfect. I hope that you know how much I appreciate all that you do for our little family, how hard you work to support us, and how much of yourself you give to us. I love you more today than I did on that day 5 years ago when I became your wife. You make me feel safe, loved, and appreciated. Sure we argue, we yell, we aren’t perfect, but I believe that we grow stronger from it, from the communication that comes from it. You taught me that. I love our life and the family we have become. I am so lucky and blessed to have been able to share it with you. I can’t wait until we are celebrating our 10, 20, 50th wedding anniversaries, because I know we will. Just like I knew that day I met you 13 years ago that we would be together, I know we will grow old together.

Happy 5th anniversary Renato. I love you.